return my video game
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Is it penis luge time yet?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
