the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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