Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection

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  (206): Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection http://tfl.nu/mgca
  Replies (21) Good night (2625) Bad night (609)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.

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  (970): Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute. http://tfl.nu/y17n
  Replies (40) Good night (28577) Bad night (1113)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.

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  (727): She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek. http://tfl.nu/rrn9
  Replies (117) Good night (3136) Bad night (11890)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.

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  (+61): Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches. http://tfl.nu/qgps
  Replies (3) Good night (3116) Bad night (723)
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  (510): View more from California

  I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.

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  (510): I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit. http://tfl.nu/1jo4
  Replies (9) Good night (3000) Bad night (914)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at

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  (203): You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at http://tfl.nu/66cb
  Replies (5) Good night (2571) Bad night (693)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.

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  (703): From russia with love. But also with chlamydia. http://tfl.nu/1l8f
  Replies (5) Good night (629) Bad night (2151)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think

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  (613): She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think http://tfl.nu/7fbd
  Replies (21) Good night (835) Bad night (1917)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now

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  (401): I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now http://tfl.nu/a0kr
  Replies (4) Good night (1042) Bad night (427)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...

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  (207): Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final... http://tfl.nu/w8p1
  Replies (4) Good night (1383) Bad night (353)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.

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  (704): You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now. http://tfl.nu/1b3b
  Replies (2) Good night (745) Bad night (258)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower

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  (414): She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower http://tfl.nu/h8q1
  Replies (1) Good night (415) Bad night (994)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here

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  (815): Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here http://tfl.nu/s5pw
  Replies (2) Good night (405) Bad night (237)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?

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  (780): So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over? http://tfl.nu/dz02
  Replies (5) Good night (839) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION

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  (647): HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION http://tfl.nu/2yk9
  Replies (4) Good night (336) Bad night (584)

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