Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

Finally jerked of with a banana peel.

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(914): View more from New York

Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong

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(443): View more from Maryland

She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly

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(904): View more from Florida

she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(816): View more from Missouri

I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?

(1-816): View more from Missouri

Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'

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(410): View more from Maryland

YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.

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