It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
