I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
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Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
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She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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