He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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