please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
