I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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