I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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