she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
