hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
