Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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