I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
