this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
