You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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