well you can't waste a boner
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
