Cold hands, warm shart.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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