Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
