Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
