Well apparently he's into motor boating.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
