it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
