my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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