I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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