You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
