He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize
