she was so not down for the gang bang
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
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its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
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it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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