yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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