Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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