You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
