I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize