well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
