On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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