you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
