And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
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Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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