Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
