Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
