once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
