I want to stick my p in your. b.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
