Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
