he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
