Betty ford says i'm here all night
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
