there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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