this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
