ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
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Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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