I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
