Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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