Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
