stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Im part way to drunk.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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