How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
