Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
