I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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