If i come over, it means nothing
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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