My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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