DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
