You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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