That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
