His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Ladies don't puke and tell
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
