just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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