Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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