i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
