Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Help me help you realize you are a moron
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize