I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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