I would go down on you faster than GM stock
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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