even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
