How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize